So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
