she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
