he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize