Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
