don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
