Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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