I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
