You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
