Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
