he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
