why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
