dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
