He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
