he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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