im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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