So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
