What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
