The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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