Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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