No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
