New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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