I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
