I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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