there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
