The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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