My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
