i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
