So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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