I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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