can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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