i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I need a beard to bite.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
