Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
