can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
