is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize