I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
