I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
