What did we do last night that was yellow?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Congratulations! We have a period
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
