why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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