Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
