I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
