If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
