I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
