I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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