she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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