There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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