I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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