I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
