I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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