My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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