Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
